D.C. Gets Voting Rights…Spooky

Ronald Reagan is the ghost in this story… okay maybe not.

So here’s the deal. Washington D.C. has had a representative in the house for a while, but they didn’t have a vote. They would just sit there, occasionally throw out an argument, or perhaps even a piece of legislation, and show up on The Colbert Report a lot. However, today that all changed (sans the Colbert comment). The DC Voting Rights Act passed through the Senate on a vote of  62-34.

The only argument against it is that it’s not quite constitutional. DC, last time I checked, is not a state. At the same time, to deny voting rights to the people living there seems more unconstitutional considering they are still American citizens. There are 34 Senators that have a very literal interpretation of the Constitution apparently… gross.

Via [Congress Matters]

Ghost To Haunt Bunning

Ronald Reagan is the ghost in this story.

Senator Jim Bunning (R-KY) is a babbling idiot. This is what happens when you let Hall of Fame pitchers become United States Senators.

Bunning said he supports conservative judges “and that’s going to be in place very shortly because Ruth Bader Ginsburg … has cancer.”

“Bad cancer. The kind that you don’t get better from,” he told a crowd of about 100 at the old State Theater.

“Even though she was operated on, usually, nine months is the longest that anybody would live after (being diagnosed) with pancreatic cancer,” he said.

-Courier Journal

As someone who handled the transition from celebrity to politician amazingly well, Ronald Reagan is quite upset. Well, at least his ghost is. In an exclusive interview with RRITGITS, Reagan suggests a plan to haunt Bunning.

RRITGITS: Hey, how’s it going?

Reagan: Do you really have to ask? Did you see what Bond did to me last week? He made me look like an idiot! Gah, the whole government is going to shit!

RRITGITS: Speaking of government going to shit what are your feelings on Jim Bunning’s recent comments about Justice Ginsburg?

Reagan: Well, there are some things he said that are true, but he’s a complete idiot for saying them. When Bunning was up there talking about how it’s almost time to decide our next Supreme Court justice, I was a ghost, I mean, aghast. You don’t tell people that someone is dying and that you’re looking forward to that day.

RRITGITS: Do you think Ginsburg will be dead in the next nine months?

Reagan: You just don’t know. I hope not. She’s done a wonderful job in the past 15 years or so. She’s the Jewish mother of the Supreme Court. That’s how she gets the other justices to agree with her, she just guilts them into it.

Also, if she dies while this Obama character is in office, not only will I have to hear her nag me up here, but who knows what kind of crazy liberal justice will pass through the Senate.

RRITGITS: Do you plan to try and straighten Senator Bunning out?

Reagan: Oh, Old Jimmy Boy has something coming to him. I’m gonna freak the shit out of him. I can’t really go into details, but I’ve certainly got some tricks up my sleeve.

No, but seriously, Jim Bunning is an idiot.

Edit: Even the Republicans agree, Jim Bunning is a deadbeat.

Story from the Courier Journal via [Daily Kos]

Ghost Inhabits Senator

Ronald Reagan is the ghost in this story.

Last week the ghost of Ronald Reagan was out and about trying to change the world one Senate vote at a time. Reagan embodied himself in Senator Kit Bond (R-MO), and stood in staunch opposition to the stimulus plan going through the Senate. Bond is quoted as saying “government is not the solution to the problem, government is the problem.”

Okay, maybe not, but this is what he did say.

Hold on to your wallets folks because with the passage of this trillion-dollar baby the Democrats will be poised to spend as much as $3 trillion in your tax dollars. Taxpayers will be on the hook for spending that will stimulate the debt, stimulate the growth of government, but will do little to stimulate jobs or the economy.

Very Reaganesque if you ask me. However, it seems the ghost of Reagan has left my least favorite Missouri Senator because it was only a few days ago that Kit Bond went on a tour across MO-town touting the gloriousness of the most amazing stimulus bill to ever pass through the Senate…ever. He was particularly fond of the $2 billion that he threw in there for low income housing projects, $40 million of which will go to his (and my) state.

The need for housing is great everywhere, particularly with affordable housing. The price of housing has gone up so much. We’ve had flooding destroy 100 houses in Lincoln County and disasters wiped out housing and if you talk to anyone you’ll find the waiting lists are long.

Well, nice try Reagan, but you didn’t finish the job! Unless you were just trying to make Kit Bond seem like another hipocritical Senator. In that case, good work Ronald Reagan.

Recession Hits Sharks Hard

Those poor poor sharks. Who knows how many have gone hungry because of the failed policies of the Bush administration and the “Change” that’s still going down the drain

http://www.livescience.com/strangenews/090219-recession-sharks.html

Obama’s Inauguration

It was a complete shit-show!

…more to come later.

Christianity

Today, while playing 5 clicks to Jesus*, I found that someone had hijacked the Christianity page of Wikipedia. As I clicked the link on my way to finding Jesus, I found someone had replaced the usual entry with this:

dus not exist so FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

LED ZEPPLEIN

Usually I would support this. However, this is gross an disgusting. Led Zeppelin must be spelled correctly! I don’t care if you’re in a hurry to publish this article so you can get on to Judaism Islam and Hinduism and raise complete anarchy as the world finds itself without religion all of a sudden. But you cannot have them worshiping Led Zepplein. For all I know they don’t even exist. And if they do exist, they probably suck.

I came up with a better, more difficult game. It’s very similar to 5 clicks to Jesus. I call it 5 clicks to Ronald Reagan.

*5 clicks to Jesus is a game played on Wikipedia. Starting from a random page, you get 5 clicks to get to the Wikipedia entry on Jesus. You can click any link in the article.

About

This blog had to be made. There was no stopping it. Sooner or later, someone would realize Ronald Reagan is too good of a character in American history to not warrant made up ghost stories about him.

Truthfully, this blog will doubtfully have very many ghost stories, let alone ghost stories featuring the Gipper (Reagan’s evil-ghost-alter-ego). It will be more of a pot-pie-pourri of comical comments on music, news, and global issues that may somehow be related to Ronald Reagan, but in all likelihood, it’s a stretch.

So why did I call this site “Ronald Reagan Is The Ghost In This Story?” It began with my first paper for a class at Carnegie Mellon called “Introduction to World History.” It’s possibly the worst class I’ve taken in my college career, and the required lectures never fail to be relentlessly boring. The first paper was about globalization, and I lifted an idea from poet Beau Sia for my introduction:

My first year at sleep away camp was not very good. The first night we were there, my whole cabin camped out and told ghost stories by the fire. Counselor Chuck told us he had a good one – it was the most frightening tale ever told on the grounds of Camp Firewood. “It was about all of the individuality of the world being sucked out by a global economy set on homogenizing society.” Needless to say, I could not sleep that night and my entire camp experience was ruined by Counselor Chuck and his entirely too scary ghost stories (Sia).

Inadvertently (or so I think), through his super-spooky campfire tales, Counselor Chuck created the earliest formations of my ideas on globalization. However, as I have developed my own ideas and opinions on globalization I have learned there are always two sides to every ghost story. Now I present a tale of a global economy that expands trade and decreases impoverishment, but also magnifies wealth gaps, undermines government policies, degrades the environment, and yes, homogenizes society.

The ghost in this story is Ronald Reagan. The global economy could never reach its full potential until the fall of the USSR at the end of the Cold War. Thomas Friedman maintains the idea that globalization is the replacement for the Cold War system that came before it (Friedman 1999, 7). While the Cold War system was marked by two super powers and an economy ruled by national presidents and dictators, globalization is marked by one super power and an economy ruled by corporate presidents and … dictators.

The rest of the paper gets pretty boring, with only a few more references to Counselor Chuck and none to Ronald Reagan.

So you see, it was either this name, or AdamtheFiasco.blogspot.com, but apparently some guy named Lupe already took that idea. He makes good music though, so I guess it’s cool.